Brothers where what would be

A friend asked me a while back where what would I be if had never met Betty Lee? The question made me cry as had never thought of that too much before as to what life would be like if had never married Betty. The answer as most everyone knows is that I would be a lonely old man eating hotdogs sitting in a tree.

The other day watched the movie about a man who towed his homemade trailer across Iowa via a banged up riding lawn mower to visit his older brother in Wisconsin,  When asked why he would do such a thing the actor said "no one knows you as well as a brother."

That in turn got me to thinking good grief where what would I be if had not had two older brothers. I dunno the answer to that, but it could be that would be worse off than if had never met Betty Lee. What follows are some of the reasons why that could well be true.

I am the youngest of us, Paul was 3 years old and John 6 when I got born in the fall of 1949. They were always bigger, stronger, smarter, while growing up. We had wonderful parents. They did though have full complete lives besides just raising us. Dad was the pastor of one of the larger congregations in Muscatine Iowa, and Mom in addition to being a de facto co minister was a full time junior high home economics teacher. The fifties were boom times for church attendance, and Dad's United Methodist church was packed for each of the two Sunday morning services, plus also well attended Sunday and Wednesday evenings. Mom didn't miss any of those services nor the various church group meetings and outings. Dad typically visited 35 or more people in their homes or hospitals each week, praying with them and often administering communion as well. 

Their schedule met that there was a good deal of time us boys were in charge of ourselves which meant lots of backyard football, alley way softball, basketball, attic wrestling, and low grade neighborhood hijinks.

Lessons were learned. A wooden backboard with metal basketball rim was set up facing the alleyway on the back end of our detached garage. My first baskets were made there, and in addition to endless games with bros and neighborhood gang spent a good deal of time out there on my own too. One afternoon when I was around 9 years old three youth from where did not know showed up to harass. After a bit of having fun they tossed me in a nearby garbage can. Some commotion was made and John who had just got home from school came out to see what was going on.  They started to needle him too, which resulted in big brother who really was small for his age until later years but nonetheless took immediate action. He picked out who the leader was and then hit his face with all his might. The dude staggered, then fell backwards into closed tin entry of a dilapidated abandoned warehouse. His two buddies looked at each other and then back at John and took off to wherever they had come from. I never saw them or their leader again.

I was no great athlete but did get the most recognition at high school's football banquet. My parents and others in the audience had tears listening to coach Bob's words. After a month of JV football the knobby growth underneath the left knee cap swelled up. A trip to the ortho clinic resulted in getting a cast for two months from the ankle to the mid thigh and orders of no weight bearing which meant had to use crutches. The next day, John suggested that I go to practice anyway. So that is what I did, never missing a practice or a game for the rest of the season.  Standing on the sidelines with weight on the crutches, arm pits and hands got calluses. At the banquet coach's talk was the emotional highlight.

I had waterskied a few times as a teen, but never got to where could stand up more than 3 seconds. A few years later Paul got a boat and upon discharge from the Army stopped off to see him and Lani. We went to the lake. I tried time after time to stand up and go but kept failing. He did not give up. Finally near the end of the day I got it right and skied all over that lake. Was similar to when learned how to drive a manual shift car. Paul had a 6 speed karma ghia convertible, and I was due to have delivered soon a 5 speed on the floor vega gt coupe. So was a little desperate to learn how to use the clutch. Despite numerous burning attempts Paul kept having me practice till got it right. He succeeded and was able to use my car to drive housemates all over Colorado. They called me Mario.

The 3 of us worked the summer of 1967 together at YMCA camp Manito-wish located in Wisconsin's north woods. John had just finished his graduate program at Drake, and Paul was to be a senior at his school in Missouri and I a freshman. That summer Paul led two 20 day long wilderness canoe trips and John took photos while waiting for his order to report for USMC boot camp. On the morning of one of Paul's trips I spotted him near the boat dock contemplating perhaps praying for safe journey for he and his campers. The day John left for the Marines he was deep in thought too.  The three of us huddled up that morning and said our goodbyes.

Paul's trips were a success and broke camp records for miles travelled and rapids ran. John was his company's outstanding boot during training and served with honor in Da Nang. 

There are so many more stories that are locked in which contribute to how grateful I am that learned and got reinforced the values of perseverance, determination, giving back, hard work, loyalty, and love from my brothers. Where would I be without them? More n likely would have flunked algebra for sure, taken a bus instead of a car to Colorado, been a cousin bowl loser, never a leader, no mountains climbed or rivers paddled, blown courage to propose to Betty, never moved to Hawaii, boloed out of basic training, no graduate school. In short would have been lucky to find a tree to sit in let alone eat hot dogs from. 

They remain and will always be bigger, stronger, smarter - Thanks John and Paul for everything

us 3 with Mom and Dad we are 4,7, and 10 in this photo, John (10) wearing cowboy hat and is in the middle which seems to be where he fits in most of the photos.

Christmas 1949 

Another Christmas John in the middle and we wearing bow ties they must of been clip ons

Backyard football with neighbor kids and a cheerleader. The one story building there is the garage and behind it is the run down ware house mentioned in the narrataive. Both have numerous broken windows thanks to us boys.

Paul and I on the AT. both with white beards. am protecting my stomach from getting punched by brother due to protective natural reflexes due childhood memories.

wearing our camp shirts warming up for our annual Iowa vrs Missouri cousin bowl. These games started when in junior high and continued for several years. This is the last one as our Missouri kin got old. We never lost.

John in Ethiopia 1965 meeting the Conquering Lion of the tribe of Judah - Emperor Haile Selassie

kid time with Mom and Dad wearing bow ties - either Christmas or easter cause we rarely dressed up

the three of us at the Grand Canyon. Paul and I are wearing shades and hoping we don't get punched in the gut by John who is in the middle.

Paul and I at McAfee Knob, which is an iconic AT spot with big view of Virginia mountains

 

View from a distance of half dome. if not for brothers would have had no interest in hike like this. They though got me interested in this sort of stuff from a young age. It was thinks to them that got going canoeing and hiking.

three on top half dome

us three with John in the mid again  at Josh's wedding- 2017

I

If not for brothers scenes like this may never have happened - Betty and SC plus our immediate fam and a few extras - Dec 2021

 

Betty and I about a year before kids, unwavering support from brothers for taking the leap

I think is only photo of me in uniform this taken on home leave after a few weeks of training - knowing big brother was top boot bolstered my determination to at least not get kicked out.